• Me: Cock...................
  • Me: ... er spaniel. sweet jesus I can't do this
  • blunk182:

    DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

    kimpissible:

    police officer: you’re under arrest.
    me: im rubber, you’re glue. what bounces off of me sticks to you(:
    police officer: fuck

    phantomrose96:

    risarei:

    finishing a series but still being attached to the story and its characters

    image

    watching an ongoing series where the plot’s become embarassing and boring but still being attached to the story and its characters

    image

  • Kieran: Surely they'd have some sort of cream for her?
  • ruinsofxerxes:

    Roy Mustang walks into a bar. And a table and a chair.

    He is blind.

    meladoodle:

    Hello modelling agency?? yeah my selfie just got 34 notes I think I’m ready to go pro